Halloween with the Nieces: When Eric Groped a Klingon

My brother moved to Oklahoma.

(sigh)

Even though I had known this when I plugged his new coordinates into my GPS device, it became all too apparent as the McDonald's on the highway began turning into Braum's (which I'm cool with, of course). Taco Bell's became Taco Mayo's, which I assume is a Taco Tico-style restaurant that adds in mayonnaise instead of taco sauce to every menu item. Oklahoma-style, I'm told by no one in particular. So as we passed Sooner Lane (of course it was Sooner Lane) only a few miles from Eric's house, I was ready to see  him, Melissa and my adorable nieces who I was probably a bit too happy to Trick or Treat with. 

I knew that Mom, John and myself were truly loved and appreciated when upon arrival Georgia and Sydney greeted us in a full sprint, arms open, darting towards the car. Shouting "Mina, Mina MINA!!!". And that was pretty much the weekend, the rest of us engaged in a futile attempt to garner even half of the attention that the girls showered upon my dog. There is nothing more adorable than small girls trying to smother a small dog with not so small amounts of attention and love. Even if the dog would rather be hiding in a bush outside or trying not to be scared of her own poop. Still, there were many adorable moments, and the girls proved that while the learning curve for how to handle dogs is steep, it does not lie at a 90 degree angle. 

(lotta this going on)

So what about the Klingon story?

We took the girls to Terror at the Zoo, which is Oklahoman for How many millions of costumed kids can we funnel through the zoo. The line to get in was longer than the third Lord of the Rings movie. Turning our noses at the back of the line – we do hail from Wichita - we walked past thousands (I simply don't see how this can be an exaggeration) of kids and families patiently waiting. Eric's false belief that being Zoo Members would vault us past the throbbing millipede (they have more feet than centipedes, right) was not fortuitous, however it gave us a great new position at which we could slip in line while he bought the tickets. So we did. Pretty shamelessly. And that's all I'll say about that. 

(The girls are totally more adorable than the Mario Brothers)

When we finally broke through the entrance, our little Wizard (Georgia) and Princess (Sydney) were in remarkably high spirits, even offering to get out of the stroller and walk on their own. When grandma bought them each their own pink glowing light-saber, their happiness reached an entirely unimaginable apex. And with thousands of moving kids, parents and other unintelligibly costumed individuals being funneled like cattle through the same path around the zoo, they had a lot of moving targets to accidentally swing at on purpose. Between politely asking for candy and engaging in sporadic but intense bouts of dancing, the girls would stop to have their picture taken next to various Halloween-themed backdrops. There was the Wicked Witch of the West and her gang, dinosaurs, pirates, a sweatshirt-wearing unimaginative vampire sporting creepster glasses. All creepy, some for the right reasons. Then we happened upon Captain Kirk and a Klingon who looked like and probably was Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire. Of course I would have to get my picture with them; I just needed to act like I didn't want to. Luckily my brother knows me all too well, and acting light years out of his comfort zone, volunteered to join me for a group photo with the intergalactic icons in front of us. Because that's what awesome brothers do. 

So after two nerdy kids finished posing with Kirk and the Klingon, who was naturally seated in a $9 fold-up chair, Eric gregariously approached his new warrior friend and pulled a jujitsu move the likes neither of have seen, nor knew he had, pinning the Klingon down face first on the grass and forcing him to whimper KAPLAA in resignation. Wait…that's not at all how it happened. He knelt down and gestured to put a hand on his back – all old timey western style – when in a surprise turn of events similar to a counterattack, the Klingon labored up and stood at full attention. Eric's hand, momentarily in a comfortable locale mid-back, completely motionless, felt the scenery change with the Klingon's rising movement. Mid-back gave way to lower back. Red Alert! It was too late, by the time the Klingon reached full attention, Eric's hand was no longer in the neutral zone. Shields were damaged. Status report: high percentage of groping. 

(Had to include the crime-scene photo. Based on the clarity of this image, now I'm absolutely sure the Klingon was Uncle Phil)

Turns out the two nerdy kids were begat by two nerdy fathers, who in a not-at-all-surprise twist wanted to have their picture taken with the Treksters. Not that I don't understand. We eventually took the picture – which didn't come out too well due to the low light – and all was forgiven. Though based on Klingon law, the warrior has every right to eat Eric if he so chooses. So all might not be forgiven

We headed back to the homestead, stopping for some Joe's Famous pizza. It was some delicious gourmet pie, but the fact that the all-meat selection was named The Sooner was both fitting and uncalled for. As mentioned above…my brother lives in Oklahoma. In spite of this, my brother, Melissa and the girls were so welcoming and generous that it almost pains me to say, but I need to do so, I look forward to my next trip to Oklahoma. 

(Not the least because it'll be the next weekend and I'll be shredding 4-wheelers at the sand dunes).

Oklahoma (and Eric and fam and sand dunes) see you soon!

To view this light-saber battle, a video of Sydney almost ejecting herself from a teeter-totter and the rest of the photo gallery, go here: https://picasaweb.google.com/115703640602426551600/OKCHalloween?authkey=Gv1sRgCL_6rYmb9v7bYw