A Kansas City Power Couple Flees The Country
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| All Jazzed up for the wedding |
It's not everyday that your good friend tells you that he and his wife are moving to a country so cold that you can ice skate on lakes in July. A strange and foreign land where health care is free, front door locks are unnecessary and you don't need a cable subscription to watch hockey. Where there's so little respect for pork products that they've somehow managed to confuse bacon and ham.
Don't get me wrong, I have oodles of Canadian jokes (mullets, denim, Labatt beer, politeness and diversity, what up!) but that's not what this post is about. I'm here to represent the hundreds, if not thousands or millions, of lucky individuals to consider themselves a friend of Chad Cummings, Amy Stewart, Bailey Cummings-Stewart and Duke. We who shared special moments with you, who helped you move in (and out) of your first house and, when called upon, collaborated with you to take over a small Missouri wine town for a weekend to celebrate your wedding.
Their exit from Central-North America was fast and frenzied, not to mention unnecessary; a whirling dervish of tying up loose ends in one country while at the same time lacing up a new pair of sneaks in another. With just one pair of shoelaces.
So to give them a proper send-off, I've spent the last months requesting that our friends send in their favorite photos of this photogenic couple. And man, have they responded. It's been thoroughly enjoyable digging up this digital time capsule. In the half-decade or so they've known each other, Chad and Amy have established quite the Internet presence, carefully constructing an impressive resume of ridiculous - some might say amazing - moments forever frozen in time (and tweeted, facebooked, instagrammed, texted, emailed and burned to a disk to send to parents).
Below are the highlights, separated into the following categories: The Couple; The Amy; The Chad; Potpourri: The Unexplainable.
The Couple
If you've known Chad and Amy for less than four years, then you probably don't know one vital piece of information about the small seed from which sprouted their relationship: Chad had a jerry curl when he first met Amy. I point this out for two reasons: 1) It's hilarious, and 2) Well, really that's it, see reason #1. When I see the pictures below and note the smiles on their faces, a small part of me wonders whether or not their mutual happiness would have ever existed had Amy chosen not to go out on a date with a dude with a man-perm. It's not a stretch to say that a white-guy-fro is an automatic deal-breaker for
almost all many women. Props to Amy for making the right choice, boldly going out on a limb for my friend. She can rest assure that with Chad's aerosol can of Soul Glo forever relegated to the storage shelf, not only did she made the right decision, she has set a tremendous precedent for tolerance in their relationship. Basically, Chad owes her one.
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| Amy's initiation to KU athletics |
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| Sharing their signature drink, some sort of raspberry lemonade concoction |
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| Really giving it their all during the 2008 KU Championship run |
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| I don't know what's better: Chad's chest hair, Amy's two drinks or the gropey convict in the background? |
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| This is what you get when you look up "White Guy Dancing" on Wikipedia |
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| Taking selfies before that became a thing |
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| Big sunglasses and popped collars in the Caribbean |
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| Hard to resist free donuts |
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| Making friend |
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| Sucking up to Bad Santa |
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| Midwest American Gothic |
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| Even in the mountains, Bailey has to be the center of attention |
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| Chad's doing a somewhat wonderful job of hiding the fact that his body has gone into shock from overexertion |
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| Bailey chewed up Duke's invite to the family pictures, which is why he's not pictured |
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| Celebrating weirdness, mustaches and the 80's for Chad's 30th |
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| When I lived with Chad, I'm sure I made this face a time or two |
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| Pretty sure every one of 'em is real |
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| Two Chad's are just as creepy as one |
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| An entire town celebrates their first dance |
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| One of the best moments of my life. Pretty sure Amy, Chad and Witness had fun too. |
The Amy
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| As you can clearly see, Amy's completely comfortable in front of a crowd |
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| This picture would be better if not for the creepster in blue |
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| Sometimes it's a Friday night at Lew's and you're sitting at a table, and you've got to dance. On the table. |
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| Graciously putting up with Hef's dancing shenanigans |
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| Always classy |
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| What would the American Royal be without an ice luge? |
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| Nice picture of some good frien---Jaron what the hell? |
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| Making the local tabloids |
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| If those purple shiny wigs could talk... |
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| No (appropriate) comment |
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| Um...see comment above |
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| Hey there's that table again. And that thumbs-up guy too. |
The Chad
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| Always one to out-beard us |
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| Celebrating a successful Nanobrew-fest with his Brew Live Crew (not sure if that nickname sucks) |
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| It seems obvious that Chad was Kellie's muse |
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| Nostalgia #1: When I gave Chad a Kirk Franklin CD (probably) and he was sporting a haircut that looked like something that rhymes with "seen us" |
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| Nostalgia #2: Senior year soccer, when we weren't afraid to side-hug it out |
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| Keeping it classy, tweed-style |
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| Because you can never be too safe |
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| The fro almost isn't the weirdest thing in this picture |
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| Practicing for their public performance of Copacabana |
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Did we need to be shirtless for this journey?
Yes. |
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| Testing our ability to process extreme cold at a ND football game |
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| If Chad made a living writing romantic science-fiction novels, this would be his book jacket photo |
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| Why wouldn't his pants be ever so slightly unzipped? |
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Amor fugado
(look it up in Google translate) |
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| Always one to share |
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| Say what you will, but the man can sleep ANYWHERE! |
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| When you're this confident, you probably spend a lot of time saying, "I'm not going to explain myself" |
Potpourri: The Unexplainable
Simply put, the best of the best!
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| Testing their tolerance against contracting diseases |
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| This sort of efficiency will help Amy in Canada, where food prices are outrageous |
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| A clear example of why ideas, however ridiculous they may seem at the time, should never be vetoed |
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| There's not much that anyone should be comfortable with in this picture |
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| So Chad fell in, right? |
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| This picture should make all of us miss Chad less |
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| Amazing how Chad's not even close to the most bizarre person in this picture |
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| Hydrating |
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| Maybe my favorite picture, ever! Too bad we couldn't convince Chad to die his hair ginger. |
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| Sometimes happiness is sitting alone next to a kiddy-pool full of beer. And sometimes it's not. |
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| Disproving the theory that fun can't be had in an above-ground pool |
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| Proving that real men - that is to say, men with perms - can expose their softer side |
And that's it, folks! The best of the best that I could find. I'm sure I missed some great ones, so it's up to you to fill in the gaps. Show the Cummings-Stewarts that though they're in another country, they'll always be in our Internets.
So long, see you in Canada. Eh!
