Friday, May 10, 2013

SCARF & The Buckaroo Ball

Cowboying-Up For a Good Cause!


The Director and I


When I learned as an eleven year old that I was moving to Wichita from Atlanta, I was, quite frankly, unimpressed. To sell us kids on the move, the future executive director for the Sunlight Children’s Advocacy & Rights Foundation (SCARF) – or as I call her, mom – bought the Brantner brothers cowboy boots because, having never set foot in the state of Kansas and prone to believing stereotypes, it was her assumption that Midwest kids were cowboys. In spite of (or maybe, to spite) her best efforts, I did not wear them once. A mere twenty-one years later though, my brothers and I reunited in Wichita and donned full cowboy gear for a fundraiser, the Buckaroo Ball, fulfilling this destiny. It would appear that gratitude for a kind gesture falls outside of the statute of limitations.


After having valiantly served the school kids of Atlanta and Wichita for (she’d kill me if I divulge the specific number of) decades, our mother, Suzi Thien, followed her passion for child advocacy into an environment where she could help make an even bigger impact. She applied for the position of SCARF executive director on the theory that her experience as a school counselor plus volunteer work with those less fortunate, combined with her love of children and innate desire to protect those who are most troubled, not to mention the thick skin she developed raising three mouthy, over-active, hyper-competitive boys, would be enough for this great organization to make a leap of faith and offer her the position.


And that’s exactly what happened. She found herself in this new role, her first job outside of the education system since college, having impressed the organization to the extent that she was offered the job in spite of the fact that, due to nerves or general forgetfulness, she wore just one earring to the interview.


The SCARF mission is simple: To provide resources and facilities that support and protect abused and neglected children and their families.




Located in El Dorado, KS, this organization has helped over 800 children deal with abuse and neglect since 2007. SCARF, and specifically the Sunlight Child Advocacy Center (CAC), offers a safe environment in which forensically trained professionals can interview abused or neglected children, so they can report their story just once. Without this organization, these emotionally-affected children may have to relive their horrific experience repeatedly in locations that can be scary and intimidating to kids, such as police stations, courthouses, doctor’s offices.


SCARF staff members conduct the taped (audio and video) interviews in a child-friendly room with the appropriate authorities for two main reasons: 1) to have an accurate, documented record of what the child has reported, thus reducing the need for multiple interviews, and 2) to provide evidence to the prosecution, should the case go to trial.


Depending on the nature of the case, SCARF may work with representatives from law enforcement, the Department for Children and Families (DCF), medical and mental health, prosecution, or family advocacy to ensure that once all facts have been reported, the child’s case can be brought to justice as swiftly as possible. This removes the burden from the child and their non-offending family, and puts it in the hands of those who best know how to handle it. And more importantly, it allows victims of abuse to move past their trauma and begin the difficult healing process, emotionally, psychologically and often times, physically.


SCARF is led by a passionate board, many of whom have experience in dealing with child abuse investigations, or are concerned community members acting on behalf of abused and neglected children. These generous individuals value the creation of an environment in which abuse cases are responded to properly, yet they also strive to prevent such instances through education of child abuse awareness, prevention, recognition, and reporting issues in the community. 


Staff and board members often speak at schools, churches and community groups, raising awareness for their cause, teaching children and their families signs to look for in abuse cases and providing information for how to act when such horrible instances occur. It’s scary and incredibly sad to know that over 90% of child abusers are known by their victims. That’s nine out of ten cases. People need to know how to report this, if not prevent it from happening at all. This is why SCARF exists.

  
True to the spirit of their mission, their current goal is to raise funds to build the SunshineChildren’s Home. This facility, which will be located on a patch of donated land on the outskirts of Andover, KS, will provide placement services to children from Butler, Elk and Greenwood counties who have been temporarily removed from their home due to abuse or neglect. To illustrate this need, consider that last year alone approximately 180 children from Butler County were interviewed at the CAC for abuse or neglect.

This is the Dream!

The financial goal for this venture is $2.5 million, and it comes with a wonderfully uplifting name: “A Child’s Secret”: A Capital Campaign for the Construction of Sunshine Children’s Home. Having already secured $1.8 million in gifts, pledges and in-kind donations, along with an incredible $406,000 challenge grant from the Mabee Foundation, this dream is becoming evermore a reality.

  
Nothing has been taken for granted, though. The hard work and long hours put in by SCARF staff and board members is incalculable. Mom is a long way from sending us boys out with candy bars or working smoke-filled bingo halls on Friday nights for soccer fundraisers. You can’t get what you don’t ask for, and you may have to ask more than thrice, but this crew is persistent. A major fundraising project like this is difficult enough in normal times, nevertheless in a climate of tough economic and political circumstances. Not to mention in the state of Kansas.


Mom has spent so much time outside of her comfort zone that this gray space has been permanently and forever altered. For years all she asked for was that her students respect each other, score well on standardized tests and, like any working mother, to have a moment or two of peace and quiet during the day. And of course, for her kids to not fight with each other. Now, she has her hands out and is armed with a strategy, an excellent team, and a life-long passion for child advocacy – all for a cause that’s far too important to be forgotten or given lip service. Lives do depend on this. 


There are many ways to help. If you’ve been so impassioned by what you’ve read so far that your wallet has mysteriously jumped out of your pocket or purse and is resting by your preferred electronic computing device, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. Go to the link below to learn about the many ways in which you can help the Sunshine Children’s Home thrive. Then, once you’ve done so, you can continue reading this story. Or not - take yourself out to a movie or buy a puppy as a reward for such a kind and generous act. 



If you need more convincing, that’s fine too. I invite you to continue reading...


A major source of funding for the Children’s Home, as well as other SCARF operations, is the Buckaroo Ball of Butler County. And it’s just as awesome as it sounds.


I openly admit sounding like one-song iPod on shuffle by stating that this massive undertaking is only possible through the enormous help and talent of the SCARF board and staff, as well as other members of the Buckaroo Ball Committee. They put in hours (upon hours, upon hours) to secure auction items, food and drink donations, MC’s, guest speakers and the band. They coordinate the facility - rustic Murfin Stables – and somehow plan a party, a dinner, an auction and a speaker series all in one. This is all to have, according to the event website, a “Boot Scootin’ Fun”. Leave your hanging “g’s” and monetary filters at home.

The "A" Team

Free drinks tend to help with that last point, and combined with the adrenaline you feel by dressing up as a cowboy, it sets the stage for a night of hooting, a bit of hollering, some loose wallets, and my personal favorite, double-denim sightings.

City Slickers, we are not

Soon-to-be-generous donors walked the wall, eyeing the silent auction prizes while my brothers and I tried our best to mimic the smile, gait and vocabulary of rich cowboys. For some reason, I imagined myself as the “rich Texan” from The Simpsons. Wearing western shirts, boots, oversized belt buckles and bolo ties made this easy, and certainly entertaining. We were acting out the erroneous stereotype my mother tried to shoehorn us into over two decades ago. And I don’t think we offended anyone.


Sweet deals at the silent auction
  
Almost all of the silent auction prizes went on to fetch three figures, some of them significantly more. We did our best to drive up prices as an excuse for conversation, with varied success. We learned quickly, though, that the real money, the real charity, was seen in the live auction. It’s easy to give up on an item when it requires you to walk, bend at the waist and put pen to paper. It’s much more difficult when a fast-talking auctioneer calls you out by name.


Because no one likes to spend thousands (yes, thousands) of dollars on an empty stomach, we were provided amazing, oversized steaks that warmed the soul, and dulled the senses. The sweets were incredible, and fortunately for me, they were gone within a reasonable time frame, the dessert table scavenged like something from a George Romero film. My oversized belt buckle was getting resistance from my blue jeans, and another strawberry icing shot may have given the denim side an unfair advantage.

Scootin' through the buffet line
Warning: Overindulgence may lead to overbidding

During dinner there was a steady flow of introductions, stories and events leading up to the live auction. We were introduced to the SCARF board, staff and Buckaroo Ball planning committee who had organized the event. Nichole Johnson, who participated on “The Voice”, a show I’m told Usher is now on, sang for us. I only remember bits of it because I was expending massive amounts of energy fighting off a serious steak & potatoes coma.


We were treated to a fascinating story from Sloane Lewis, Miss Kansas. She detailed what it was like growing up bi-racially in a small Kansas town, and how her perception of herself as a kid was derived entirely from what others told her. How it was a struggle to figure out her own identity, as opposed to simply believing what others told her. This simple yet universal message could benefit millions of children, especially those who suffer from neglect or abuse, as they mature and look to find meaning in a world where it’s commonplace to judge someone based only on what the eye can see. It was an emotional speech, and not a single other person was talking when it ended; Miss Kansas left a crowd of knotty throats and glassy eyes.


Charity work for Miss Kansas, posing with the Brantner brothers
The last act before the live auction rang powerful as individuals affected by abuse, either personally or from within their family, walked down a ramp at the back of the room holding signs with messages detailing the particular atrocity suffered. It was a tactful display of hope, as these brave individuals walked tall yet bared their deepest shame and humiliation for all to see. That they could expose such a personal issue, yet do so confidently and without fear, sent a message to the audience: Child abuse and neglect are pervasive and can affect anyone in any society, and when it happens, the affected child may be too scared to report it, fearing they’ll be the ones who get in trouble. This is especially true in the high percentage of cases where the child knows the abuser. Proof was staring down at us, compelling us to read their story, as the once-jubilant group sat in silence, emotions a thick cloud for all to see, unable, unwilling to look away.
  

Anyone that was on the verge tears after Miss Kansas gave in at this point. Among the bidders in the audience, you could look around and, statistically speaking, ask yourself how many of these people here tonight could have been affected by something this sick. It’s scary as hell.
  

This is what set the stage for the live auction, the Buckaroo Ball’s primary source of fundraising. Apparently drinks, sugar, red meat and an emotional Chuck Norris to the gut are key to a successful auction, as air began circulating throughout the barn due to the increasingly rapid ascension of bid cards. Knowing my pockets weren’t deep enough for this part of the show, I was able to watch with non-attached amazement as bid prices rose at an astounding rate.


The highlight of the night, for our family at least, was watching bidders go hog-wild over Jet BBQ’s donation of a whole pig and baked beans, a catering for 50. Improbably, bidders went back and forth, lubricated by the auctioneer’s smooth salesmanship. One thousand dollars…two thousand dollars...three thousand dollars, then SOLD, for a sum of three thousand two hundred dollars. Before we could even high-five Jet Man, he was flashing the peace sign, offering up another catering. When that one topped three grand, he did what any self-respecting entrepreneur would do…and tripled the order. His three caterings alone brought in just shy of ten thousand dollars. Simply amazing! And to those lucky winners, I can assure you that, after years of midnight snacking on pork ribs, it was well worth it.


Jet BBQ: Good Q' Since 1982

This was just one example of the big-heartedness of the crowd that night. Astonishingly, the 330 plus members that night raised over $140,000 for SCARF, the most successful Buckaroo Ball to date.  Those who participated in the silent and live auctions know that their impact will be felt, know that their generosity went to a great cause. After witnessing the event I now fully understand the excitement that swells around mom as she describes the team’s efforts to secure funding for the children’s home. And it makes me want to join in.  
  

Knowing that she is a part of this effort makes me so proud of who she has become in her post-education life. That she speaks on behalf of those without a voice and works to provide hope to those who have lost their innocence, she, along with her colleagues, are creating an environment where those who have been abused can seek the help they so justly deserve, then move forward. Where the stigma of victimization is replaced with outrage and societal banishment for abusers and their silent, yet knowing accomplices. Their message is getting out - look no further than the Penn State campus for evidence of this.  


SCARF's executive director, obviously recovering from a calf-roping injury

What SCARF and its staff do for the under-represented is not for the meek or for those who need constant congratulation.  But they are making a difference. Society will respond. I saw it first-hand at the Buckaroo Ball.